What can make a good parent?
A great parent is someone who strives to make decisions in the most effective interest of the child.
What makes a great parent is not just defined by the parent 's actions, but additionally the intention of theirs.
A good parent doesn't need to be ideal. No one is perfect. No child is perfect either … keeping this in mind is important when we set the expectations of ours.
Successful parenting isn't about achieving perfection. Though it does not imply that we shouldn't work towards that goal. Set high standards for ourselves then and first the children of ours next. We function as role models that are important for them.
Top 10 Parenting Tips
Here are ten suggestions for a great parenting experience, including how to stay away from bad parenting, and be an even better parent.
Some aren't simple or fast.
And most likely nobody is capable of doing them constantly.
While you might not always do all of these things, but the suggestions in this parenting guide will help you move in the right direction.
#1 BE A good Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Don't just tell your child what you want them to do.
The best way to teach is to show them.
Human is a special species in part because we can learn by imitation. We're programmed to imitate others' actions, comprehend them, and integrate them in to our personal. Children, particularly, watch everything the parents of theirs do very thoroughly.
So, be the person you want the child of yours to be - respect your kid, demonstrate to them positive behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your child's emotion - and your child will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show them Through ACTION
Show your love.
There's simply no such thing as loving the child of yours too much. Loving them cannot spoil them.
Only what you choose to do (or give) in the name of love can - things like material indulgence, leniency, low expectation, and over-protection. When these things are provided in place of love that is real, that is when you'll have a spoiled kid.
To love your child can be as easy as offering them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and listening to your kid's problems seriously.
Showing these actions of love can cause the release of feel good hormones such as oxytocin. These neurochemicals can provide us a deep sense of contentment, emotional warmth, and calm; from these, the child, will develop resilience and also not to point out a closer connection with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Babies are born with around hundred billion brain cells (neurons) with relatively few connections. These connections create our thoughts, drive the actions of ours, shape our personalities, and basically determine who we're. They are "sculpted", strengthened, and created through life experiences.
Give your child positive family interaction, especially in the beginning years. They will then be equipped to experience positive experiences themselves and also offer them to others.
But if you give the child of yours negative experiences, they will not have the kind of development needed for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Have a tickle marathon. Go on the park. Laugh with your child. Allow them to have positive attention. Drive through an emotional tantrum with them. Solve an issue together with a positive attitude.
These positive experiences produce good neural connections into your child's brain and form the memories individuals that your child carries for life.
With regards to discipline, it appears to be hard to remain positive, particularly when dealing with behavior problems. But it's possible by utilizing positive discipline and avoiding harsh discipline.
Being a great parent means you need to teach your child the morals of what's right and what is wrong.
Setting limits and being consistent will be the golden rule to good discipline. Be firm and kind whenever you set rules and implement them. Concentrate on the reason behind the child's misbehavior. And allow it to be an opportunity for them to learn for the future in a good manner, rather than to get penalized for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR The CHILD of yours
Let the child of yours realize that you'll always be there for them if it is responsive to your child's signals and sensitive to their needs. Support and accept the child of yours as a person. Be a warm and safe place for your child to explore from and go back to.
Kids raised by parents that are consistently responsive tend to have much better psychological regulation development, interpersonal skills development, and emotional health outcomes.
#5: Talk with YOUR CHILD And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Most of us know already the value of communication. Talk to the child of yours as well as listen to them thoroughly. By keeping an open line of communication, you'll have a better connection with the child of yours as well as your child will come for you when there is an issue.
But there is another reason for communication. You help your child integrate different parts of the brain of theirs, a crucial process in a kid's development.
Integration is akin to the body of ours, in which various organs should coordinate and work in concert to maintain a healthy body. When different parts of the brain are integrated, they can function harmoniously as a whole, which means fewer tantrums, more good behavior, more empathy, and better mental well-being.
To do that, conversation through troubling experiences. Ask the child of yours to explain what happened and the way they felt to develop attuned communication.
You don't have to provide solutions. You don't need to have all the answers to become an excellent parent. Simply paying attention to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using words that are simple are going to help them make sense of the experiences of theirs and integrate the memories of theirs.
#6: Reflect on Your own personal CHILDHOOD
A lot of us want to parent differently from our parents. Even people who had a good upbringing and a happy childhood may wish to alter some aspects of how they had been brought up.
But really frequently, when we open our mouths, we speak just like the own parents of ours did.
Reflecting on the own childhood of ours is an action towards understanding why we parent the way we do. Make note of things you would like changing and think of how you'd get it done differently in a genuine scenario. Try to be mindful and change the behavior of yours next time those issues come up.
Don't quit in case you don't succeed at first. It takes practice, lots of practice to consciously alter one 's child-rearing methods.
#7: Pay attention to Your personal WELL-BEING
Parents need relief too.
Give consideration to your own well-being to prevent parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things including your own needs or the overall health of your marriage are placed on the back burner when a kid is born. If you do not take note of them, they are going to become bigger issues down the road. Take time to enhance your relationship with your spouse.
Stressed-out parents tend to be more prone to fighting. Do not be afraid to request parenting help. To have some "me time" for self-care and stress management is crucial to rejuvenate the mind.
How parents take proper care of the child of theirs physically and mentally can make an impact in their parenting and family life. In case these two areas fail, your child is going to suffer, too.
#8: Don't SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
No doubt, for some parents, spanking can result in short-term compliance which sometimes is a much needed relief for the parents.
Nevertheless, this method doesn't teach the kid right https://parentinghowto.com/ from wrong. It simply teaches the child to fear outside consequences. The child is then motivated to stay away from getting caught with inappropriate behavior.
Spanking the child of yours is modeling to your child that he/she is able to resolve issues by violence. A child who is spanked, smacked, or maybe hit is much more prone to fighting along with other children. They are more apt in order to become bullies and to use verbal/physical aggression to resolve disputes.
Later on in life, they're additionally more apt to lead to delinquency and oppositional behavior, even worse parent child relationships, mental health issues, along with domestic violence victims or even abusers.
There are a variety of more effective options to discipline that have been shown to be much more effective, such as positive discipline (Tip #3 above positive reinforcement and).
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What's your goal in raising a child?
When you are like the majority of parents, you would like your child to do well in school, be prosperous, be independent and responsible, be respectful, enjoy good relationships with you and others, be to care and compassionate, plus have a happy, healthy and also satisfying life.
Though how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
If you're like most parents, you most likely spend the majority of the time simply attempting getting through the day. As authors, Siegel and Bryson, point out in their book, The Whole-Brain child, instead of helping your child thrive, you spend most of time just trying to survive!
To not let the survival mode dominate your life, next time you feel angry or frustrated, step back. Think about what anger and frustration will do for you or your child.
Instead, find ways to turn every negative experience into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums can be transformed into priceless brain sculpting moments in case you concentrate on teaching the child of yours, not attempting to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT Through the use of Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I do not mean shortchanging the child of yours with tricks. What I mean is to take advantage of what is currently known by scientists.
To parent is among the most researched fields in psychology. Lots of parenting strategies, traditions, or practices were scientifically researched, refined, verified, or refuted.
For optimum parenting advice for raising a child and information that are backed by science, here's among my personal favorite science-based parenting books, The Science of Parenting.
Making use of medical knowledge is of course not really a one-size-fits-all strategy. Every child differs. Quite possibly within the very best parenting style, there can be many different good parenting methods you can choose according to your child's temperament.
A good example is employing spanking to discipline. There are many better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning, time-in, etc. You are able to choose a non punitive discipline method that works best for the child of yours.
Of course, you can additionally choose to utilize "traditional" or maybe "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or spanking) and also might still buy a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has shown us that children with various temperaments respond to the quality of parenting differently.
Those who are more susceptible to parenting quality is going to have better outcomes under good parenting but even worse outcomes under bad parenting.
Those people who are less prone may "turn out fine" no matter how strong their parents treat them. Though it doesn't imply those practices are good. These children are merely lucky. They could thrive despite poor parenting, not because of it.
Why take a possibility with sub-par parenting practices when you can use well-researched, better ones?
The importance of parenting can't be underestimated. Taking science-based parental advice might not be the easiest way to parent. It might require more work on your part in the temporary but can save you lots of agony and time in the long run.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The great thing is, that although parenting is hard, it is also really rewarding. The bad part is the rewards typically come much later than the effort. But in case we try our best now, we'll eventually reap the rewards and have absolutely nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!